Sorry, not sorry

Why do English people say ‘sorry’ all the time? Not only do they constantly say it, they also do not mean it. I’ll hear it all the time and most of the time the other person hasn’t even done anything but they’ll say it anyway. Its almost as if they think one step ahead in avoiding any possible conflict.
Now, I know what you are thinking…and yes I do apologise when I have done something wrong but I won’t just go around saying it all the time.
With time, I have learned that ‘sorry’ here it isn’t as much of an apology as it is a politeness strategy. They aren’t sorry, they are just trying to be polite. I guess that makes me impolite.

Also, let us talk about the word ‘mate’ for a minute. How is a complete stranger your ‘mate’? There is no way I can be your mate. I am not your wife, girlfriend or other sexual partner. We just met…at least buy me dinner first.

As long as we are on the subject.. I have a few other things to say.

Although I am mostly used to this one by now, I cannot help but have a quizzical look on my face when someone I just met calls me “love” or “darling”. It loses it’s value when you say it to your significant other and then repeat it to the cashier at the local grocery store for handing you your change. Think about it.

Maths? Why is there an ‘s’ on the end? Why would anyone want more than one math? One is enough!

I don’t quite understand the word mum. If you are replacing the ‘o’ with a ‘u’ then shouldn’t you be calling your dad a dud. Just trying to be logical here.

There is more than one tea in the world. It isn’t just English Breakfast. There is white tea, green tea, herbal tea, oolong tea. Next time you ask me for tea, please specify or at least don’t give me that, what-do-you-mean-what-kind-of-tea-look. I’m not dumb. I just can’t read minds.

Thank you doesn’t exist. It’s ‘tah‘ or ‘cheers’. I just handed you a drink and your change. You can thank me, but ‘cheers’? I mean, we aren’t bonding over a drink here. I’m clearly on the wrong side of the bar.

People actually say ‘cheerio’ and they aren’t talking about the cereal. This one makes me hungry.

(Brief note in case any one of my co-workers/roommates stumble upon this. I am just kidding folks, you know I love you….but, please stop calling me your love because you are confusing the entire Western hemisphere.) 

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