Only slightly showing off but also, this is my blog so I get #braggingrights. Lets be honest though, I would have most likely been a groupie if I was not already dating the drummer.
Only slightly showing off but also, this is my blog so I get #braggingrights. Lets be honest though, I would have most likely been a groupie if I was not already dating the drummer.
One month on the couch. Two and a half weeks on a different couch. Eight months in a double room. Three weeks in a sub let room.
Also, we watch Peep Show, have poker nights or spend the night trying to get a table tennis table we found outside into our living room all the while playing with passerbys. Now that is living.
I know a couple people who have been over the pond to visit and have now been debating going to graduate school here or taking the year to become a Londoner.
London is full of possibilities. Whether you are here for school, to start a business, acting or just to drink tea and eat crumpets all day, there is a place for you and I assure you that you will never have a dull moment.
However, there are a few things you need to get used to when you live in London.
1. Eating beans for breakfast.
2. Everyone will think you are flirting with them. If this happens, just smile and say, “no, I am not flirting, I’m just American.” This actually goes down quite well.
3. Marmite. Apparently it’s a thing and it’s revolting…but then you get used to it.
4. No late night kebab shops open so get used to fried chicken shops or ‘pigeon shops’.
5. Tea is like water.
6. Don’t think English men go to bars in suits and act civilised. They get hammered by about 8 o’clock and then sing pub songs until close.
7. English men do not know how to flirt. Luckily, the chance of you meeting a proper Londoner are slim as everyone you will meet is typically either a foreigner or from elsewhere in the UK.
8. You must queue up for absolutely everything, and you’ll be shunned if you don’t.
9. Travel costs an arm and a leg. Get yourself a bicycle.
10. Rent is pricey unless you live with a boyfriend/girlfriend or are apart of Live In Guardians.
11. You put trash, (I mean, rubbish) in a bin that are nowhere to be found.
12. You won’t have a day off for Thanksgiving.
13. Pork has applesauce on it.
14. No more brunch. It is all about Sunday roasts.
15. You can’t just order a beer. You must specify if you’d like a lager, ale or stout.
16. People look at you funny if you don’t drink.
17. I think it is safe to say the majority of people are alcoholics.
18. Taxi drivers have no soul.
19. Bus drivers will run you over.
20. Please and thank yous are obligatory.
If you can deal with all of that then I’d say welcome to London, mate.
Words of advice?
If you have never been to the UK then you are not aware that warm water does not exist. There is a tap for cold water which is near freezing and then there is a tap for hot water which is near boiling. In order to obtain that warm water that we all try to set when we open the tap you have to turn them both on and then cup your hands together and alternate between the boiling water and the freezing.
No, I am not lying and yes it is a daily struggle to wash my face without scalding it or shivering.
It is quite unclear to me why a developed country like the UK would use a two-tap system.
Who knows the reason behind it… I just add it the long list of weird things the British do differently.
Here is a short video that underlines my daily struggle in obtaining ‘warm water’.
Why do English people say ‘sorry’ all the time? Not only do they constantly say it, they also do not mean it. I’ll hear it all the time and most of the time the other person hasn’t even done anything but they’ll say it anyway. Its almost as if they think one step ahead in avoiding any possible conflict.
Now, I know what you are thinking…and yes I do apologise when I have done something wrong but I won’t just go around saying it all the time.
With time, I have learned that ‘sorry’ here it isn’t as much of an apology as it is a politeness strategy. They aren’t sorry, they are just trying to be polite. I guess that makes me impolite.
Also, let us talk about the word ‘mate’ for a minute. How is a complete stranger your ‘mate’? There is no way I can be your mate. I am not your wife, girlfriend or other sexual partner. We just met…at least buy me dinner first.
As long as we are on the subject.. I have a few other things to say.
Although I am mostly used to this one by now, I cannot help but have a quizzical look on my face when someone I just met calls me “love” or “darling”. It loses it’s value when you say it to your significant other and then repeat it to the cashier at the local grocery store for handing you your change. Think about it.
Maths? Why is there an ‘s’ on the end? Why would anyone want more than one math? One is enough!
I don’t quite understand the word mum. If you are replacing the ‘o’ with a ‘u’ then shouldn’t you be calling your dad a dud. Just trying to be logical here.
There is more than one tea in the world. It isn’t just English Breakfast. There is white tea, green tea, herbal tea, oolong tea. Next time you ask me for tea, please specify or at least don’t give me that, what-do-you-mean-what-kind-of-tea-look. I’m not dumb. I just can’t read minds.
Thank you doesn’t exist. It’s ‘tah‘ or ‘cheers’. I just handed you a drink and your change. You can thank me, but ‘cheers’? I mean, we aren’t bonding over a drink here. I’m clearly on the wrong side of the bar.
People actually say ‘cheerio’ and they aren’t talking about the cereal. This one makes me hungry.
(Brief note in case any one of my co-workers/roommates stumble upon this. I am just kidding folks, you know I love you….but, please stop calling me your love because you are confusing the entire Western hemisphere.)
I started a list of things that only American ex-pats living in London would comprehend a couple months ago and have now compiled over 22 things. I thought I’d share a bit of them with you…
Put down the English translation book and put away your class notes because the only English you need to know when visiting is listed here. If English or “American” is your native tongue then forget all that you know and learn the new meaning to words like ‘bird’ and ‘fit’.
Cheeky- slightly inappropriate/insolent
Bird- girl
Love/darling- used for anyone (strangers included)
Fancy- like
Taking the piss out of someone/something- making fun of someone/something
Rude boy- lawless urban youth
My size- usually said by rude boys to mean that the person would like to do sexual things with you
Innit- contraction of isn’t it (replaced by sort of)
Mate- friend
Muppet/numpty/twit- stupid person
Proper- appropriate
Row- argument
Shag- sex
Skint- broke
Sussed- to work or figure out
Bloody- an intensifier
Right- really
Well- very
Bollocks to it- probably won’t bother with it anymore
Faff- to differ
Getting off with- making out with
Naff- something that isn’t very good
Nicked- stolen
Sod off- piss off
Ta- thank you (Northern England term)
Wanker- another word for idiot
Ok, enough bloody faffing…I’ll go get ready for work now, ta love!
Only in the United Kingdom have I found that people make a difference between “American” and “English” in terms of language (and here I thought we spoke the same language). However, apart from the phonetic differences, there are words that have either opposing or differing meanings and at times it has caused for a bit of confusion.
My first few months in London I wouldn’t even answer the phone for fear of not understanding the person on the other end. A few times I just politely said, “please hold” and then passed the phone to the closest person I could find with a quizzical look on my face when they would ask who it was or what they wanted.
It wasn’t the English accent I had a hard time with but rather accents from other parts of the U.K. like Scotland or Ireland. Also, London is a multicultural hotspot with people from Bangladesh, Portugal, West Africa…etc., and when you are not used to hearing these accents, it can prove to be quite arduous whilst trying to communicate.
Luckily, I have been here long enough now that I manage to find a line of communication with most accents I come across and when in doubt, well, I just guess. I work at my local pub now so when I’m at the bar and I have trouble understanding the local Scotsman, I just pass him a stout and hope for the best.
In linguistics class at Uni I learned that with time your ear is trained to distinguish between different accents rather quickly so I knew it was only just a matter of time before I was used to this array. However, its the lingo I am still not up to date with or the instant reflex to think of words in ‘American’ as opposed to ‘English’.
The other day a gentleman at the pub asked for chips. I looked at him and asked him which kind he wanted; sea salt, cider vinegar, chorizo, spicy tomato… he replied and said chorizo and then started laughing when he realised that I was thinking of crips, not chips which are fries in the United States.
Harmless mistake of course and if anything I just laugh it off and say I do it on purpose for the charm.
Another difference in language is the use of “love” and “darling”. Ladies, I am telling you now that if an attractive British gentleman calls you either of these two words, do not blush and instantly start planning your wedding day because everyone is either a “love” or “darling”. The first few times I had a bit of trouble with random men calling me “love” or “darling” because in my mind, only one person calls me either of these two things and that’s the person I am in a relationship with, but then I got used to it. However, I must note that there is a bit of a patronising undertone to these words that I hadn’t noticed until my bar manager pointed out a mistake I had made. I just smiled and responded with “ok, darling”.
As the only American girl in the pub I work at, people constantly mock my accent or repeat things I say like “trash” instead of “rubbish” or “restroom” instead of “loo”. There is a constant debate on whether “sidewalk” is a more appropriate word of “pavement” or vice versa. At the end of the day there is no winning as I am outnumbered and well, they did invent the language didn’t they? Though at times it is a bit frustrating and lets just say I don’t wonder why God, or whoever is up there controlling things, put the British on an island.
Cheers, mate.
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